Rest as Radical Resistance

(On a rock near the Virgin River in Utah)

For five days I unplugged and only posted on social media once a day. No laptop, screen time down on my phone. I packed my bags and my friend and I hit the open road that led us to pure rest and relaxation. The mountains greeted me, the desert flowers invited me, and the smell of the pine trees lifted my spirits unlike any aromatherapy in a bottle. I laced up my hiking boots, pulled on my floppy hat and got out into the thick of it.

I was so excited to show my friend Zion National park one of my fave destinations but we were met with reality, Coronavirus. Even in the great outdoors we couldn't escape it. The trolly was operating with limited transportation and the park rangers were masked up. Even worst, my fave trails were closed. Instead of letting it get me down we found a trail, and it turned out to be amazing! On this river walk I was able to meditate while listening to river sounds, I broke a freshly pedicured toe on pebble rocks as I crossed the river barefoot, and ate fruit while sweat beads lined my forehead and upper lip. All was right with the world, and I was grounded.

As a healer, and community leader I won't even tell you how many PTO days I have because I keep going until my body gives out. But this is about to change. My physical health won't allow me to continue to being the Little Engine that Could. I have to take my rest. In fact rest is radical, it is resistance in a word that ridicules and belittle individuals that move at a slower pace.

In the digital world we don't take breaks, we have to continue to scroll, see what's trending, retweet, repost, let the world have it with our opinions and views. Our conversations are filled with, "did you see? Did you hear about? Wait, let me tag you!" In doing so we aren't allowing our brains to take a break, we aren’t breathing correctly, we are too tapped in. We are more sociable but more alone than ever. Our spirits are suffering because we aren't taking the time to get connected within. We are neglecting and abandoning ourselves. How do we change this?

We rest. That's right, we lie down, sit down, snore, unplug, let go, just rest. My brain began to slow down around day 3, when it realized I wouldn't stimulate it. It started to align with the rest of my body. The hypervigilence stopped, the addiction of wanting to check my emails and newsfeed stopped. My brain realized, "oh well she ain't gonna do nothing but sit here so let's just do that," and I finally relaxed. With this rest I ate really well...my friend cooked (because I have to have a man who cooks, because well, I don't!) and served me as expected (I am a Goddess you know). The sacral chakra was aligned and honey the body was healed in more ways than imagined. It was time...

When I finally came back to Las Vegas I slept lazily and allowed my body to start its new pace in preparation for the new week. Rest is foreign to me and those around me. They are used to my manic way of working, the 12 hour days, no off days; but I want them to get used to the rested Toshia, the Toshia who listens to her body and shuts it all down when the brain tells her too. Its radical because it's not the norm for a hardworking woman; a giving woman, a healer, a Black Goddess. But it's my new norm.

Hello Toshia...nice to meet you, you well rested woman you. I look forward to this new journey ❤️