Un-romanticizing the way I view love.

It's no secret I'm leading a couple of courses, Self-love and a Sacral course. So it got me to thinking (trying not to overthink here but I digress), with grad school coming to an end I'm finally ready to get back out there and date (insert gasp here).

What if I approach love completely then the way I've approached it in the past. I mean sure, I'm a free spirit and I don't have a lot of inhibitions but I still carry some old school values and morals with the way I approach relationships and love. I am friends with the most open and free people you could ever come across and it hasn't affected my love life not one bit. In fact, I don't give what other people do a second thought (it could be because I'm a social worker and I'm slammed with different lifestyles, etc.). But when it comes to love and dating I am the same old, same old Tosh. I recognize my Goddess nature, I love what comes with that (pure Goddess worship, you should try it sometime). But outside of this, I still like the idea of a monogamous, man lead, relationship.

Then why am I bored, half-way into the relationship? Furthermore, why is it when I connect with a guy after about two dates he damn near want to marry me (the talk of marriage comes at around a month, I swear! LOL). Then, I get anxiety over the fact that shit is going too damn fast and we need to slow it all the way down. I mean alllllll the way down (like I'm blocking his number okay?).

I don't like abandonment, I don't condone ghosting, so I've changed that because guess what? That causes unnecessary heartache and isn't very emotionally intelligent. Let's fast forward to the present because that abandonment crap is childish and I've evolved from that (but don't get it twisted I will block a bish...).

Nowadays, I'm older and I am finally where I've always wanted to be in life. Whoa! I have never truly sat in that, I am actually where I've whished, hoped, and prayed for. The only thing that's missing is that companion I can share it with. So, I'm approaching this dating all the way different (partially due to Corona). Although I go into situations with 0 expectations, there is something in the back of my mind that always holds out hope that this is it! Nope, not anymore...I am completely open, with no expectations. As long as the individual is meeting the things on my list, respectful, kind, compassionate, loving, oh and single. It's on. I won't look at this person as, "the one," or "who is he with when he's not with me?" No...I'm going to enjoy my dating life fully and completely. Taking each date for what it is, nothing more, nothing less. This way no matter what happens I will be unaffected and look at the date with gratitude as a lesson or a wonderful exchange of energy.

Let's see how this goes! You know you will be kept in the loop. Yasss!